& nonsense Seagoon: We've come to disconnect your phone. The Red Bladder: I haven't got one. Seagoon: Don't worry, we've brought one with us. RAMS: Various timepieces ticking, chiming and cuckooing. A chicken clucking. Finally a hooter. Bluebottle: What time is it Eccles? Eccles: Err, just a minute. I've got it written down on a piece of paper. A nice man wrote the time down for me this morning. Bluebottle: Ooooh, then why do you carry it around with you Eccles? Eccles: Welll, um, if a anybody asks me the time, I can show it to dem. Bluebottle: Wait a minute Eccles, my good man. Eccles: What is it fellow? Bluebottle: It's writted on this bit of paper, what is eight o'clock, is writted. Eccles: I know that my good fellow. That's right, um, when I asked the fella to write it down, it was eight o'clock. Bluebottle: Well then. Supposing when somebody asks you the time, it isn't eight o'clock? Eccles: Well den, I don't show it to 'em. Bluebottle: Ooohhh. Eccles: [smacks lips] yeah. Bluebottle: Well how do you know when it's eight o'clock? Eccles: I've got it written down on a piece of paper. Bluebottle: Ohh, I wish I could afford a piece of paper with the time written on. Eccles: Oohhhh. Bluebottle: 'Ere Eccles? Eccles: Yah. Bluebottle: Let me hold that piece of paper to my ear would you? 'Ere. This piece of paper ain't goin' Eccles: What? I've been sold a forgery. Bluebottle: No wonder it stopped at eight o'clock. Eccles: Oh dear. Bluebottle: You should get one of them tings my Grandad's got. Eccles: Oooohhh. Bluebottle: His firm give it to him when he retired. Eccles: Oooohhh. Bluebottle: It's one of dem tings what it is that wakes you up at eight o'clock, boils the kettil, and pours a cuppa tea. Eccles: Ohhh yeah. What's it called? Um. Bluebottle: My Granma. Eccles: Ohh. Ohh, wait a minute. How does she know when it's eight o'clock. Bluebottle: She's got it written down on a piece of paper.